Caelan hears the word “America” on the radio and having recently learned about America for the 4th of July…
CAELAN: America? I don’t see America around here!
Caelan and Pop are outside playing golf
CAELAN (matter of factly): We’re going to put the golf away, and then we’re going to go inside and then *I* am going to poop.
CAELAN: I need a spoon for my ketchup.
BILL: Dude, no you don’t.
CAELAN: Okay, I’ll use my fork.
SARAH: Why don’t you use a chicken nugget??
And then he ate his blob of ketchup on its own, with a fork.
Out of the blue…
CAELAN: Daddy, do you have any questions?
BILL: Um…about what?
CAELAN: About trains.
BILL: Oh yes, I have lots of questions about trains!
CAELAN: When is James’ birthday?
SARAH: James has the same birthday as you, June 1.
CAELAN: James the train?
SARAH: No, not James the train…
I pause to try and figure out how to identify James…
CAELAN: Number 1 Mackenzie’s brother, James?
Caelan has 2 friends named M(a)ckenzie and he differentiates them by calling one “Number 1 Mackenzie” (he met her first) and the other “Number 2 McKenzie” (he met her second).
CAELAN: Daddy, what does “E E” spell?
BILL: Um, nothing, buddy. Where did you see that?
CAELAN: I’ll show you.
Caelan takes Bill back to our bedroom and shows him this…
CAELAN: I need a new car.
BILL: Why do you need a new car?
CAELAN: I need a race car to go to work.
BILL: Why do you need to go to work?
CAELAN: Because I need money.
BILL: What do you need money for?
CAELAN: I’m full of money. I need more money.
CAELAN: Daddy, you’re my best friend.
BILL: I thought Evan was your best friend?
CAELAN: Evan wasn’t there today [at school].
SARAH (to Bill): I think you should take it, hon.
One morning, we saw some vultures in our parking lot near the dumpster.
The following morning…
CAELAN: Mommy, are we going to see vultures today?
SARAH: I dunno hon, maybe.
CAELAN: Can I hit the vultures?
CAELAN: Can I push the vultures?
SARAH (bewildered): No!
CAELAN (picks up a small inflatable ball): Can I throw balls at vultures?
SARAH: No, you can’t throw balls at vultures!! (I could not have dreamed up this sentence in a million years.)