Caelan Conversations, Part 14


Warning, this post contains accidental adult language 


We are in the car driving to school

CAELAN: Mommy, did you see that school bus?!

SARAH: No, I didn’t, honey.

CAELAN: Mommy, you need to watch for school buses when you’re driving!


CAELAN: Mommy, when I grow up, I’m going to be a Daddy like Daddy. And Leah is going to be a Mommy! Does that sound like a good idea?

SARAH: That sounds like a great idea, monkey!


CAELAN [singing]: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, is your butt a dream.


Caelan does a somersault.

SARAH: What was that you just did?

CAELAN: A flipper-kit.


SARAH: What number is on our door?

CAELAN: Sixty-one.

SARAH: Try again.

CAELAN: Onety-six….Sixteen!


CAELAN: What was that monster we saw again?

SARAH: That was a Grim Reaper.

CAELAN: Grim Reaper. I’m gonna tell Daddy I saw a Grim Reaper.

A few minutes pass…

CAELAN: Mommy, what was the monster called again?

SARAH: Grim Reaper.

CAELAN: [pauses…..] I’m just going to call it a “monster”.


I hear Leah crying.

SARAH: Caelan, what did you do to your sister?

CAELAN: Nothing. I attacked her and she attacked me.


BILL: What’s the dinosaur’s name?

CAELAN: Fuck a duck.


We are driving to Grandma and Pop’s house.

CAELAN: This is the way to Grandma and Pop’s house. It’s also the way to Grammy and Pappy’s house. Ooh firestation!!

BILL [laughing at Caelan’s abrupt change of attention]: Squirrel!

CAELAN: Did you see a squirrel Daddy? Where’s the squirrel??


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